I’ve recently been cataloging old files and photos and discovered my picture from twelve years ago.  Back then, I had just finished two months of the South Beach Diet in which I lost 20lbs. That picture above was me at my thinnest.  You can kind of see that I’m still quite fleshy. Fast forward years later, I admit to letting myself go  Now, I need to lose 30lbs to get back to how I was before I lost the weight .  To be honest, when I lost the weight back then, I felt I still needed to lose another 20lbs but when I look at then-me now, I was perfectly fine and normal.  This is what happens you look back and realize that you were so harsh on yourself.   Fine. Not only you but the people closest to you, your siblings and parents.

I was never the skin and bones type of kid.  If you look at all my pictures,  I was what you would consider “healthy and fleshy.”   As a kid all the way to being an adult, I’ve been on many diets.  Sound diets, fad diets, exercise craze. I’ve done them all.  But it was only when I bought the South Beach Diet book that it worked.  My problem areas have always been the appendages (arms and legs).  First to gain, last to lose.  Ugh!

I didn’t immediately gain it all back.  Around four years later, I was back to my pre-South Beach weight due to lack of exercise and emotional eating.  Yes, I have now addressed my emotional eating and it has changed from craving sweets to savory stuff (ie potato chips).  I’m so addicted to potato chips. Give me salty!  I took a long hard look at myself in the mirror today and saw that I want to lose some weight in order to look nicer in clothes.  I don’t hate the way I look. I just could look better.  Back then, the motivation to lose weight was to find a guy.  Yes, I know.  It’s kind of shallow and silly but then when you’re in you’re late twenties, you feel the clock ticking.  Now I’m in my super late thirties, the sound of the clock ticking is deafening.  But that is another topic altogether.

As I write this,  I’m on day 1 of my transformation journey because I want to look better and feel healthier. Note that I’m not using the word diet at all.  It just sounds so negative.  Transformation sounds so much better. I want to look my best as I start a new decade in life. I want to feel good about myself.  I’ve starting walking in mornings, running in mornings and spinning class at night.  I have my Fitbit to remind me that I need to keep active. I need all the help to succeed and change/improve my lifestyle.  If I could do it then, I’m 1000% certain I can still do it now.


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